Of Birds and Blather

Good morning and happy weekend. I’ve been watching a pair of mating Downy Woodpeckers frolicking over the last couple of days in my back yard (two words, unless used as a modifier). They’re adorable, young and in love. I don’t know the mating cycles of Downy Woodpeckers, but I am surprised to see this chasing and chirping going on as winter approaches. And, in my newly laid back (two words) retirement mode, I don’t really care. It’s just fun.

Not so much fun for small restaurants these days. A story in the paper today says well-heeled and chain restaurants are getting all the business and actually growing, while mom-and-pop joints are folding as the lockdowns continue nation- and world-wide. The Missus reminded me of one of the running jokes in the brilliant Sylvester Stallone movie (Yes, I used those four words together.) titled Demolition Man (1993). Subversively wrapped around a standard Sly action flick is a sly, not so standard commentary on a society that is living Brave New World.

The running joke in question is that a fine dinner out with dignitaries takes place in a Taco Bell. Taco Bell, you see, was the last franchise standing after “the fast food wars.” Now, every restaurant is a Taco Bell, and the people all think it’s haute cuisine. It is a smart, funny movie. Check it out if you want a look at one of our possible futures but don’t want to get depressed. As an added benefit, fellas, you get the young and spunky Sandra Bullock as the sidekick/love interest. Her name is Lenina Huxley.

Regarding the alleged kidnapping plot against Michigan Governor Witmer: Yeah, these guys are probably going to jail. But I still think they dodged a bullet. Be careful what you wish for, fellas.

Speaking of evil geniuses, you’ve got to admire Speaker Pelosi’s latest move regarding the 25th Amendment. Brilliant, using their own psychosis as cover for the planned coup against their own candidate. BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

CNN’s resident loose cannon Don Lemon was quoted after the Kenosha riots as saying the riots are hurting the Democrats, hurting Biden, scaring people (but not in the productive way they intended). It has to stop, he said. Have you noticed of late? No riot coverage. Are they still happening? Did they all suddenly go home to watch Family Guy?

Last gripe. Reading this morning comments by the CEO of Chevron. Asked “What is Equal Opportunity,” he said, “When employees feel comfortable bringing their full selves to work…” Poppycock. Nobody has ever brought their full selves to work (at least, and kept their job). We all have special-purpose selves: our home self, our parent self, our out drinking with friends self, and our work self. The Covid and the resulting sweatpants culture has muddled the mix, but that’s not about equal opportunity; that’s just slovenly living.

If you spent any time in the Baltimore area, you know the name Vince Bagli. “The Dean of Baltimore sports” was one of a gone generation of gentleman sportscasters who saw joy and humanity in sporting competition, not opportunity and headlines. We lost him this past week after a long retirement.

Eddie Van Halen died, too. Only 65, he always looked like a kid just happy to have a guitar. I wasn’t a big Van Halen fan, but they were undoubtedly one of those game-changing bands that many other acts rode the coattails of. (Yes, I know; hanging preposition. I’ve given up on that fight.)

George Burns left us a long time ago now, but the Missus and I streamed an old live standup performance from his last resurgence in the 80s. Clean, even when hinting at blue material, and clearly in love with the footlights. He’s still a treasure.