The National Fraught League

You may have read about the fun new things that will accompany your favorite football team’s battle for the Super Bowl this year. I won’t recount them here because it hurts, but here’s a reliable link if you want to see for yourself.

https://www.si.com/nfl/2020/09/01/nfl-end-zone-social-justice-slogans-end-racism

But the Missus and I tuned into the First Game of the Season last night, on Sunday Night Football on Thursday Night (The official moniker. I had to explain it to her. She didn’t believe me.)

To borrow an old critical thinking exercise, if the Martians watched last night’s football game between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Houston Texans as their first view of this civilization, what would their conclusions be?

Based upon the praise and wonderment voiced by the Officiants, people called Al and Chris, the beings in red are the Deities of this world. They are infinitely powerful, incapable of failure, and engaged in a contest with a sacrificial opponent to be pitied for their inevitable fate.

Based on the messages during interludes, this world is mostly black people smiling beatifically at their friends and children. The few white people who exist drive something called a Volkswagen. However, the white people have a sense of humor.

Walmart is a fraternal organization.

A company called Black Lives Matter is a co-owner of the NFL, and makes helmets.

Very few people come to these contests.

And what’s with the masks?

At the intermission, Martian Ygrtzz says to his co-pilot, “What do you think, Blark?”

“I’m bored. Let’s see what’s happening on the The Venus Channel.”

Us, too.