Coup-Coup-Ca-Choo
“You’re not going to like what comes after America.”
Well, it appears the TV nets (starting with schizophrenic Fox) have coronated Joe. So much material here, so little space.
Has this ever happened before, Dad? A question from our daughter a few days after Tuesday. She was only 11 in 2000, but understands the damage this election and the potential challenges can bring to our system. The question led me down a rabbit-hole of Dad-speak (sorry, honey) about how we all used to gather ’round the old black-and-white and flip among the Only Three Networks, who were all seeing the same data and eventually all came to the same conclusions on the march to 270. The parties’ campaign headquarters, who probably had somewhat better sources, were also watching, but no one said a word until the Only Three Networks projected the winner. Then the loser would appear on TV, thank his loyal campaign staff, concede defeat, and pledge to work with the new guy in the best interests of the nation. Then and only then would the winner take to the cameras, thank the loser for a hard fight and gracious defeat, and declare victory. We all went to bed, grumbling about taxes going up or benefits going down, got up on Wednesday and went to work. The nation went on. Nobody burned anything except cigarettes. This model worked until relatively recently.
How did this miracle of government happen? We all trusted the system. We saw the data as trustworthy, the networks as honest, and the politicians as mostly honorable.
Well, as Inspector Clouseau famously said in The Pink Panther, “Not anymore.”
You gotta wonder about Tucker Carlson. He’s about the most entertaining conservative face on TV, next to his frequent guest and regular Rush fill-in Mark Steyn. You need humor on this stuff. The overly wrought sad faces on the MSNBCCNNABCNBCCBSPBS circuit are just so…sad. Government and culture have always needed light-hearted observers, the Mark Twain and H.L. Mencken types. Tucker’s not in their league, but he brings an appropriate sense of the absurd to it all. He can also be serious, passionate, and scathing. Last week, his network Fox leapt ahead of the pack to declare first Arizona, then the election, for Biden. Will this put him in a bind? It had to be a corporate decision; a play to be seen by the new winners as not in the bag for Trump. So, they’re clearly in the bag for Biden. It will be interesting to see how he handles the claims of fraud after the weekend off. Good luck, buddy. We’re rooting for you.
And now, without further ado, the Gunpowder Rebellion debut of Mrs. F’s Soapbox. Go for it, baby!
Thank you, kind sir.
If it does, indeed turn out that our side lost, I propose that we make their lives as miserable as they have made ours for the last four years with their self-importantly named “resistance.” Like they’re the brave French WWII underground or something. Right.
The significant difference will be that, unlike the noisy child approach that those guys employed, we shall operate as we always have, with decorum, respect, manners, and etiquette. Thus, I propose the Polite Old People’s Rebellion, effective immediately. Guy and I are working on a battle plan. We probably won’t recommend ripping your mask off in the supermarket and going BOOOWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! But potential tactics include:
Stand with your hat off in front of the flag.
If your school or community group opens with a prayer, pray.
All those albums and movies you own by lefty artists? You know they hate you. Bruce Springsteen, Barbra Streisand, Taylor Swift, Bobby DeNiro, Jim Gaffigan - lecturing and ranting how horrible you and America are? Let’s lighten up those archives! Get rid of them! Throw them in the trash, hand them to your Commie kids, or double your pleasure and double your fun by shipping them off to a charity and taking the deduction.
While we’re on the subject of charitable donations, review who you donate to. Not naming names but you know which “charities” are arms of the government or heavily subsidized by it. If you care about the recipients of those charities, locate a different provider of those services. Faith-based foodbanks and health/abuse/child support programs, local animal charities, and independent arts groups.
Your old school, and the ones you spent good money to send your kids to. Have they declared their wokeness? Then stop your annual gift and let the kids support them. Reroute your donation to a school or program that supports your views. Or, buy yourself something that you denied yourself for a long time while you were paying their tuition. That would feel good, wouldn’t it?
Feel free to not support businesses who have made a big deal about not supporting you. No riots, no burnings, just withhold your money. Cancel culture my patootie, our generation perfected boycotts.
If you happen to have retirement portfolios that include such companies, review their performance for your portfolio and your stomach’s reaction when you think about those companies. Keep those companies who are performing for you but consider downsizing your holdings in those that really piss you off by, oh let’s say, insisting on unproductive hiring quotas. Pardon my French.
Drive the speed limit, but not in the left lane.
Turn up the music. Especially the 70s stuff. They hate that.
(But no Springsteen.)
It’s a start.
- Mrs. F