COVID Senior Lockdown, Day 29

Hope you had a nice weekend. The missus and I decided that the morning after Easter would probably be a good time to make a supply run, since most people had done their Easter and Passover shopping over the last few days. Her route involved Giant and Costco, plus picking up an Rx and dropping off a care package at a friend’s. Mine was Home Depot and the liquor store. I was dreading my trip because my good buddy Ted who lives on the Eastern Sure told me over the weekend about his Home Depot run that involved controlled ingress, limited egress, a line to the back of the store, and a hairsbreadth escape from open revolt. Goodness. Did I really want to go through all that for a can of concrete sealer for my damp basement? On top of that, it was pouring this morning, with periodic tornado warnings. Hmm. All the better to keep crowds away. We’re on!

Home Depot was just fine. Only one entrance open, but no other overt controls. About half the customers had masks, and, it being a hardware emporium, some wore Serious Masks. I wore my light, tight and fashionable MaddaFella buff in James Gang mode. The outlaws, not the Joe Walsh band. The liquor run was a curbside pickup that went flawlessly. Errands run, home just ahead of another downpour. The cats were happy. Storms make them jittery.

The missus had a longer and tougher run, but she had her buff and it all worked out and she pulled in a half hour after me with a sedan full of Costco-sized supplies, much of it cat litter and cat food. Joyful meowing all around. At Giant, the supermarket, she encountered a number of veterans, guys older than us who, by their service ball caps, had done tours in Korea and Vietnam. They didn’t appear to be a group, but they were uniformly not wearing masks, not dodging other shoppers, and not seeming troubled except by the new one-way arrows painted on the floor in the aisles. She got the distinct sense that their view was: hey, we saw a lot worse than this at Heartbreak Ridge and Khe Sanh. Don’t be afraid, be tough. I don’t know whether that’s the right approach, but a big part of me admires their bravado. We could use more of that attitude and fewer sheeple and curtain twitchers. More on that eventually. Thank you for your continued service, guys.

It’s evening now. The storms have passed, the sun is out, the yard is saturated, and I have concrete sealer for my damp basement and enough cat litter to ballast a ship. The news talkers are starting to make impatient noises about setting us all free soon. The scientists don’t have enough data to concur. I had a telehealth followup with one of my docs today who agreed I’m healthy and doing well, but should stay in the house anyway. Sigh.

COVID Senior Lockdown, Day 27

It’s Easter. It’s Passover. Mrs. F and I may begin to rant next week. But, for now, we wish you and your families and friends health and solace and calm in the face of trying times. Enjoy.

COVID Senior Lockdown, Day 26

Sorry about the irregular posts. Been busy.

But right now, the missus and I are unwinding with a 2017 Steve Winwood concert on some obscure internet channel. We unplugged last month, dropping expensive and unreliable cable for a new universe of OTT (internet delivered) entertainment. It’s a little harder to figure out, but has led to some gems, like this. Steve Winwood playing the best from his career is a time capsule and a clear example of how Rock and Roll is a music form unlike any in popular music history. He is playing 50-year-old songs that are still rock songs. If you asked your parents in 1990 to play something from their collection 50 years prior, it would have been a swing vocal with a Big Band. Good for Sinatra historians, but not relevant. However, 50 years ago from today was already the second generation of rock. The principles of Rock and Roll echo through six decades of popular composition.

Today is the 50th anniversary of the day Paul McCartney announced the breakup of the Beatles. God, what a shocker that was. With no internet, email, social or cell phones, the news still spread like wildfire. No one has ever had a larger or more enduring impact on popular music than the Beatles. Go ahead, argue with me. Any hit record of today has roots in their stuff, as they had roots in Buddy Holly and Little Richard. The Beatles changed the rules and fed the fantastic, exotic, thrilling cultural revolution of the 60s. And after eight short years, they were done. But the catalog and the impact are immense and timeless.

Stevie had his first hits in 1967 as a 16-year-old wunderkind with the Spencer Davis Group. Then Traffic, then Blind Faith (the first Supergroup), then other collaborations, then solo hits in the 80s that introduced him to a whole new generation (and the missus loves), and still cranking today. We saw him in Baltimore about 10 years ago. Small stage, small band, awesome show.

These are the guys we Boomers proudly love They’ve been with us since we were kids, and the fact that they are still out there gives us energy and hope. And you hear their voices and melodies and power chords in every song since. Rock and Roll will never die. OK Boomer, my ass.

- Guy

COVID Senior Lockdown, Day 24

Spring seriously sprang today in our little segment of the world. The first Skinks of Spring surfaced for some sun. Do you know skinks? Friendly little lizards that we have enjoyed around the yard for years. The little ones run about 3-4 inches and are black with blue stripes and blue tails. The bigger ones are tan or reddish-tan and can get fairly sizable, like the buddy below who showed up on the front porch today. They congregate around the garage and the foundation, love to sit in the sun, skitter along the ground entertaining the cats, and eat bugs. As far as I can tell, they have no downside. They hide or hibernate when the weather goes cold, but are active and adorable in warm weather. We consider them good luck.

The bricks are the usual 8 inches long. Do the math on this big boy.

It’s pouring now. It’s not supposed to be. Literally (and I mean that literally) 15 minutes ago the missus asked me whether it was supposed to rain. I checked my go-to weather site Weather Underground. I like it not because it’s particularly accurate, but because it has fewer giant annoying ads. It said no rain until after midnight. Midnight came 15 minutes later. Literally.

We did enjoy the Supermoon last night. We get a great view from here of sky events that happen in the east.

Creepy, right?

Stay safe.

- Guy

COVID Senior Lockdown, Day 23

I’m not sure whether any of you remember Ted Koppel, but he was assigned to host the original Nightline on ABC. He was a semi-known at the time, and the show was initially about tracking the day-to-day developments in the Iranian hostage situation in the late 70s, which lasted 444 days until the election of Ronald Reagan. Then they set them free literally minutes after he took office. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, go stream it and come back.

Waiting…..

Okay, there’s history here about how other nations’ actions affect us. That’s all. Up to you whether you look into it.

However, rather than rag on China, I’d rather report how we entertained our neighbors the other night. After a long and difficult day of manual labor for both me and Mrs. F, we poured a couple, opened the turntable, and slung a few platters onto the slab. In other words, we played records on the record player.

First was Mrs. F looking for some Allman Brothers vibe. Whipping Post was the choice. She found a long, loud, live version in our vintage vinyl collection. We cranked it to 11, opened the back doors, and audially invited the neighborhood in. Cool.

By the time we had segued to In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida (also on vintage vinyl, he said proudly), we had the next door family chatting cheerfully with us across the fence. Well, shouting cheerfully, actually, over the, you know, music. Their 12-year-old plays a mean picnic table drum solo, I must say. We all screamed at the end. Good song. Great day.

COVID Senior Lockdown, Day 22

It’s been a great couple of days. Yesterday I trimmed the shrubberies. You have to pronounce that like the Knights Who Say “Ni!” in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. If you haven’t seen it, go stream it and then come back.

Waiting…..

Ok. So, the missus and I are trying to sell our house in this economy. Yeah, I heard myself. It was intentional. I’m hearing radio and TV ads (Yes, old media. Deal with it.) from the glorious Great Recession years being recycled, all of them speaking glumly about your needs being met “in this economy.” Business has been booming the last few years, but I didn’t hear any spots saying “Now that you got a raise and your 401k is exploding, how about a new water heater?” But, I digress.

Back to shrubberies. So, yesterday we trimmed the shrubberies. By the way, love to my British sister-in-law who pointed out that it’s the wrong time of year to trim the shrubberies. She’s right. But the real estate sales market requires photos and photos require manicured shrubberies and at least she says it right. As always, I had unflagging, back-breaking assistance from Mrs. F. as we filled five big, heavy bags and dragged them to the curb. Ahh, it was like the good old days, she and me lugging the good stuff into Parliament’s basement, then sealing it with a kiss. What a first date that was. But, I digress.

The missus has been trying to find some of her easy, background noise shows on cable. None of the old favorites are relevant anymore. Thoughts for the next great concepts:

• Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives We Can’t Go to Anymore

• Four Weddings That Have Been Postponed

• 90 Day Fiances Who Hated Being Locked Down With Each Other

- Guy

COVID Senior Lockdown, Day 20

Short takes from the last couple of days…

Texas Town Fines Residents For Not Wearing Masks in Public (https://www.usnews.com/news/national-news/articles/2020-04-02/laredo-texas-fines-residents-for-not-wearing-masks-in-public-amid-coronavirus-outbreak). I’m sure you saw this headline. This is the legendary cowboy town of Laredo. Seems ironic that they now require people to dress like bank robbers.

The missus and her pal have continued their “most expired food product” competition. She won today with a 2011 bottle of purple Gatorade from the basement fridge. She tossed it, but, personally, I think it was salvageable.

We did our first Zoom call yesterday, with the family, organized by our Millennial and therefore digital native son. We older folks made it work and now we are able to Engage. Look out, Skynet. We’re coming for you.

Special acknowledgement to my old buddies The Fellas at maddafella.com, a superb Key West clothing outfit. They sent the missus and me very cool buffs that beat the heck out of handkerchiefs as make-do masks. Not medically approved of course, but light, tight, and fashionable. Thanks, Fellas!(https://maddafella.com/products/sportsmans-buff-1/#green)

My sister, who is not quite yet of that age, accidentally walked into a supermarket during Senior Shopping Hour. “I pulled up my mask and hunched over a little and I think I passed.” Thank goodness they’re not carding people yet.

The missus and I don’t do Twitter or Facebook, so the two kids and their spouses humor us by joining in extended text conversations. I have to say, I have four of the funniest Millennials in the world. Go ahead, argue with me. My daughter, who remembers video cassette rentals only as a gauzy toddler memory, offered the following the other day:

Mrs. F: We think there’s enough on Netflix and Amazon to keep us entertained.
Daughter: Can you imagine if Blockbuster was still a thing during all of this?
Mrs. F: Oh, my.
Daughter: They’d wait until the shelves were empty, close the doors, and take in the late fees.

I’m doing burgers on the grill tonight. Despite the madness, it’s a lovely Spring evening and the Peepers are peeping. Simple joys.

Stay safe.
- Guy

COVID Senior Lockdown, Day 17

It’s April 1. I’ve spent some time over the last few days thinking about what to do with April Fool’s Day, one of my favorite Major Holidays along with Hallowe’en, Pi Day, and Charles Schulz’s Birthday. My ideas ranged from a Bob Newhart/Bobby Ewing “It’s only a dream” approach to a more neutral “It’s April Fool’s Day. Interpret it within your own spiritual, moral and emotional framework.”

But, I think Mrs. F and I will just wish you a Happy April, with hopes that April showers will bring both May flowers and a brighter time ahead.

- Guy

COVID Senior Lockdown, Day 16

Today’s treat: COVID survival tools from the attic.

My late father’s welding mask. During 44 years in the hot mills at Bethlehem Steel in Baltimore, he needed a lot of protection. For today’s uses, this particular model is not so good at keeping germs out, but excellent for keeping yours in. And scary enough to keep other folks at the supermarket at least six feet away.

My father’s retirement gear, handmade for him by his brother, another steelworker and fisherman, ca. 1985. When repurposed for today’s lockdowns and Stay Home orders, this is essential equipment while maintaining your home and yard. Or doing the Netflix thing. Note the vintage beer cans, original equipment.

Thanks, Dad, for the assist.

COVID SeniorLockdown, Day 15

You didn’t miss an episode. It was a day of rest. I feel better.

Mrs. F and I were discussing the theory posited in the last entry. We missed something crucial. What if, just sayin’, this is all a big plot foisted on us by The Richest Man in the World (BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!)?

The Richest Man in the World, of course, owns the biggest online store in the world. And because of the virus, nobody is happy to go into a local store, or drive near a store, or even know someone who has driven by a store. And The Richest Man in the World is also the guy who is fighting for the $10 gazillion contract to put the whole DoD in the cloud, and owns the Washington Post. And this whole thing is really about driving the last stake into the heart of the brick-and-mortar shopping industry and make all of us dependent upon the online delivery company owned by The (BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!) Richest Man in the World.

And, after the retail industry is gone and the Government is in the cloud and the Washington Post says it’s okay, well, we’ll have Skynet.

Told you.

COVID Senior Lockdown, Day 13

The question on the table today is: What results of the virus crisis are going to stay with us after it’s gone? Education? Probably. Epidemiology? Sure. Work habits and location? Yeah. But the biggest, I think, is the infrastructure behind the Internet. We’re only a couple of weeks into what they say is likely a two-month-plus exercise, and already the Web is showing a shortage of bandwidth while the world is increasingly depending on it. Not sure whether the new Salvation Bill has money in it for servers and cables, but Amazon and IBM have already been duking it out for the $10 gazillion contract to put the government on the Cloud. The reaction to the virus is just accelerating that movement. This, if you know your world history, is exactly the confluence of events that will lead, or has led, to Skynet. Say a prayer for anyone you know named Sarah Connor. And stay out of her line of fire.

It’s Saturday. Take it slow. Stay safe.

COVID Senior Lockdown, Day 12

It’s Spring! Yeah, you might point out that it technically arrived a week ago. But I just noticed, amid all the locking down and such. I began to realize it last night. It was a mild evening and the Spring Peepers were singing their little amphibian hearts out. Today was mid-60s. The grass has been growing and smelling green. Despite what’s going on out there, Spring is springin’ here in the little world of Me and Mrs. F. (Sing along if you remember Billy Paul.)

The other day I mentioned the influx of unfamiliar dogs and their walkers. Well, the neighbor lady is still walking her friends Salty and Teddy on schedule, but the rest of them have vanished. There is still the occasional nuclear family of bike riders, but the pooches and their people aren’t wandering the streets anymore. I don’t recall dogs being banned. Maybe they rebelled, or the pet rental gig economy has been limited to pickup and carryout only.

Speaking of the street, the missus put an old teddy bear in the front window today. It seems people airing out bored and moldy toddlers have been asking on NextDoor for neighbors to do this so they can take their kids out on Bear Hunts. Haha. But the missus is a sweetheart. And that’s an old bear grateful for some sunlight.

That reminds me, today our friends to the north in two counties of Pennsylvania were given the Stay Home Order by their Governor. Our Governor, bless his heart, has taken a different approach. You don’t have to stay home, but there’s no fun place open for you to go. I like the logic.

As you can probably tell, it’s been kind of a draggy day. It’s only 3:00, but it’s Friday somewhere. Stay safe.

COVID Senior Lockdown, Day 11

Have you noticed the internet is slowing down? Everybody working from home, not working from home because no bosses are watching, killing time bingeing Netflix. Only so much bandwidth out there. Here’s what I mean. It’s short. Won’t hurt the supply much.

By the way, the three-ingredient Boulevardier the other night was excellent. First time for both the missus and me. Like a Manhattan (a household favorite), but bigger and with more alcohol. Bourbon, sweet vermouth, and Campari. Recommended dosage: one.

Mrs. F had to make two drive-thru vet runs this morning. Followup for the old cat and an odd symptom on one of the young ones (the quiet one, not the noisy one). They’re both on steroids now. They’ve been in the basement lifting weights since lunchtime.

Sidebar: The missus, who is an experienced and smart animal caretaker, consulted our daughter, a less experienced but equally smart animal caretaker and volunteer, in an excellent cross-generational family consultation to determine that the young quiet cat really needed to go to the vet. They were right. Allergic to crickets. Who knew?

Speaking of cats (I promise this won’t turn into a Cat Lady column. It’s just cat day.): The missus has declared tomorrow Craft Friday and she found this wall mounted cat basket on Martha Stewart. We both think the young noisy cat will fit and stick well with the glue gun.

COVID Senior Lockdown, Day 10

Jackson Browne has it. I’ve begun to fear that one of the lasting effects of the virus will be to skim off another layer of aging music stars. I remember 2016, checking Google News to see who had gone to Rock and Roll Heaven that day. Bowie was the first, followed shockingly by Glenn Frey. Then Greg Lake and later Keith Emerson. Paul Kantner. Maurice White. The incomparable Leon Russell. The equally unique Merle Haggard. Leonard Cohen and Sir George Martin. Plus a younger layer: Prince and Vanity and George Michael. That was a weird year. This is a weird year, too.

Today, we had our first visitor since the lockdown. The Whirlpool repair man* sent by the HIPPA-violating young lady I called yesterday. He wore gloves, and we kept a minimum six-foot gap as I sat at the table and he stood at the range. We had a wide ranging and entertaining discussion wrapped around me getting Electric Range Troubleshooting 101. Apparently, Mrs. F, the Most Excellent Cook, has worn out the rheostats. Who knew?

* Side note. I saw Jesse White on an old Dick Van Dyke episode last night. The original Maytag Repairman - The Loneliest Guy in Town. What an awesome character from the Mad Men. And Van Dyke and Mary Tyler Moore and Carl Reiner were generational talents. If you haven’t seen them in a while, it’s on Amazon.

Stay safe

COVID Senior Lockdown, Day 9

It’s a sunny day and there’s a new crop of dogwalkers and joggers out there. Never seen them before. My guess is the humans had jobs downtown and went to gyms before or after. Now they have to do it the old-fashioned way. I can’t explain the new dogs. Maybe they’re rented. The gig economy is a gift.

Yesterday the Governor closed non-essential businesses. Non-essential is a funny concept. I worked for a while in the government. When only essential personnel needed to report, it hurt, because I never had to. Darn those days off. In the liquor store yesterday morning, pre-pronouncement, the checkout lady said, “If they close liquor stores, they’ll have a riot on their hands.” You know she’s right. The missus pointed out that the same can be said for veterinarians. Cat lovers may be even more dangerous than drinkers, who eventually run out of energy. Both survived. Smart man, our Governor.

The stock market is driving my buddy Ted crazy. He watches it like a hawk and agonizes big time when the daily downs are beating the daily ups. Today, the Dow finished up 2,093 points. According to the radio expert, it’s the largest percentage gain in history. Ted’s not impressed. Three days ago we lost all the gains from the last three years. It’s a roller coaster. Strap in and scream when you go over the edge. It helps.

The stove is on the fritz, and I had to call the store to set up a service call today. The young lady very politely read me three HIPPA-violating questions to vet my contagious quotient and that of my home. It was reasonable, but weird. Of course they don’t want to send their employees into the danger zone, but it was odd having the perky young receptionist asking me about my health. Fortunately, we’re still stable, and they’re available. We’ll be around between 9 and 1 tomorrow.

Mrs. F and I love music, and our collection of 60s-70s-80s vinyl is sizable, if dusty. It’s fun to have a turntable. Last night she had a hankerin’ for some Glen Campbell and went digging into the C’s. No Campbell, but we had a jammin’ reggae dinner for two with Cliff, Jimmy. Jah, mon.

COVID Senior Lockdown, Day 8

Today is trash day. The truck comes punctually at 5:00 a.m. each Monday morning, holidays notwithstanding. I learned from my father to appreciate the people who do the grunt work. He always left a six pack among the cans around Christmas. The guys on the truck always lined the empty trash cans up neatly as a thank you. I have continued this tradition over my many years as a homeowner. Last night, as we were taking the cans out to the end of the driveway, Mrs. F put a six out with a note that said “Thank You!” This morning, the cans were as neatly and tightly set up as Christmas. These are guys and gals who are keeping the gears rolling. They appreciate a nod. Dad would be proud.

We broke out this morning and ran some errands. In a time of Stay Home, this was a perfectly defensible outing. The morning news said the Governor would be laying out new rules closing non-essential businesses at 11:00. We figured to beat the new panic. We hit the liquor store just to, you know, top off a few things. We think they’re essential but who knows whether he does? Mrs. F made me stay in the car while she tackled a grocery run. Her report: “The grocery store was downright weird, again. Of course, the paper products and cleaners were gone, but pickles? Who’s hoarding pickles? And olives. More martini fans around here than we thought? Or more antipasto plates? Rice and beans were mostly cleaned out. Three lonely bags of 15 Bean soup and 12 cans of black beans and nothing else. What are people doing with bulk purchases of Great Northern Beans?” As I’ve said, we’re sympathetic. But such things do raise questions.

Nothing from Melissa at Microsoft today. I’m beginning to think it was a wrong number.

And one more note. I’m an old editor and wordsmith, although it probably doesn’t show in the blog because I’m trying to be casual. But I am a little frustrated with “unchartered territory” as used by very educated people in the news. The word is “uncharted,” as in unmapped, unexplored. ‘Nuff said.

COVID Senior Lockdown, Day 7

It’s Sunday. We have not been out of the house since Thursday, when I went to the local garage to get a flat fixed and the missus went to the vet and stocked us up on chicken and fruit on the way back. She recalls that the local drug store had a sign that said: “No wipes or TP. Next delivery 3/31.” Not sure everyone can hold it that long.

Quarantine can be tough, no doubt. We are sympathetic. But we all find our own way.

Mrs. F has been talking to the cats more. Extended conversations. They respond, but none of them have seen Bohemian Rhapsody yet, so they have no opinion about Rami Malek’s performance. She’s staying aerobically fit by picking up cat tumbleweeds by hand and trundling up and down the stairs doing laundry and sorting old tax records. She is multitalented.

Today, I went through the wire box. You know the wire box. That box in the closet/basement/bathroom where you throw old computer cords, cell phone chargers, printer cables, and things you can’t identify. It was fascinating. I had a dozen DB-15 male-to-male cables. I forget what they were good for, but they must have been essential at some point before USB and HDMI. Got rid of them. Kept the things I can’t identify. You never know.

Mrs. F and her text friends have been sharing three-ingredient recipes. What we really need are three-ingredient cocktails. She’s been working on it. Says a Boulevardier looks good. I think we may even have Campari. Maybe tonight.

Haven’t heard from Melissa from Microsoft. Maybe she gets the weekend off. Or my account has been saved.

Have you ever noticed just how many paper clips you have?

Hmmm. We may be getting bored.

COVID Senior Lockdown, Day 6

My inside solitude was interrupted by the chattering of voices outside on the street. It was a group of teen and preteen boys riding bikes. We’ve been here 24 years and the population of and mood of the teenagers around here has changed many times as their adolescences have come and gone and new generations have cycled through. But there’s always something refreshing about a group of kids on bikes.

They weren’t heading anywhere in particular. They weren’t vandalizing anything. They weren’t even particularly loud, any more than happy teenagers in the fresh air with their buddies should be. So, of course, a NextDoor war broke out. They’re too close to each other! There’s more than 10 of them in one place! Where are their parents for God’s sake??? Please chill. Yeah, maybe they shouldn’t be playing basketball, with all that bumping and sweating and ball-handling. But riding bikes around the neighborhood and laughing in the fresh air beats the heck out of having them hiding out in the basement and writing Barry Manilow lyrics on the walls.

COVID Senior Lockdown, Day 5

Mrs. F repotted about half the houseplants. I cleaned windows. Sadly, waiting for the mail is no longer the thrill it used to be now that our USPS app shows us pictures of what’s on the way. God bless our mailman, Charles. Can’t imagine how those guys stay socially distant, not to mention handling all that, you know, stuff. And while we’re blessing people, we have friends and kids of friends in the health care business, including our son-in-law the OR nurse. These folks show up every day while the rest of us tweet about the pains of telecommuting. Thank you all.

Mrs. F is entertaining her friends with amusing texts about finding the oldest edible item in your pantry. Hey, we’re worried about corona virus. Botulism, not so much.

COVID Senior Lockdown, Day 4

Mrs. F has been attempting creative dishes with mystery canned goods from the pantry. Never too early to leap into survivalist mode. We had cranberry sauce with lunch, in March. But we haven’t had corned beef yet. Strange times indeed. So far, though, we’ve got plenty of real food, and the missus is a great cook. Restaurants are allowed to continue operations for pickup and delivery. Not all of them are equipped for that. Some are. Some are converting. And some are just shutting down. I figure, tasty as it is, we’ll get a little bored with Mrs. F’s home cooking and try one of the local places soon. Gotta keep the local shops running.

I read today that Netflix is no longer streaming in HD and with lower resolution. Thank goodness. I thought my eyes were going, too. Overall, though, if you’re properly equipped with media, books, and sustenance, this is an introvert’s dream.

The missus took our senior cat to the vet today for a drive-thru followup appointment. She had to sit in the car outside the office. Young lady came out and took the cat. Vet called the missus on her cell phone and they discussed the cat. Mrs. F got extra points from the vet for bringing a written description of the cat’s condition. Saved time. Young lady brought cat back and took credit card. Returned credit card. Missus and cat drove home. Elapsed time: one hour. Social Distancing quotient: 8 out of 10.

Melissa from Microsoft called again from me. Still doesn’t get the joke.