COVID Senior Lockdown, Day 38

Really sorry about the gaps in publishing. We’ve been crazy busy packing up the house and exhausted by the end of the day. It’s been all I can do to not burn my hand again.

But I have been collecting notes. So, here’s a rundown.

First of all, Happy Earth Day. The 50th Earth Day. I remember the first one well. It was April of 1970, and I was only a few short weeks from - wait for it - graduating from eighth grade and heading off to High School! Man, you remember how it felt to be a senior in high school? Being an eighth grader in a Catholic grade school was the same deal, only sillier. You could be a Safety on the bus, and direct traffic on the parking lot, exerting power over the grownups behind the wheels and proudly wearing your Safety Belt across your chest. It even had a Badge! In seventh grade, Safetys had dingy white cloth belts that had been used by previous generations of Safetys. But, in 1970, the school splurged for new fangled neon orange plastic belts. You could be seen for miles, and all the other kids knew you were something akin to a Made Man. It was the tail end of the hippie movement. We were too young to be real hippies, but we had the vibe, and it was groovy. We were occasionally rebellious, like loosening our ties in last period. We hated Vietnam, whatever that was. We were discovering psychedelic rock, like Classical Gas and the Guess Who. And My God we treasured Mother Earth and loathed the smoke-belching factories where our fathers made the money to pay our tuition. Earth Day was a statement that even we kids could make. Glad it made it to 50.

Mrs. F has been texting with some of the other wives in our group. They’re all in favor of opening up the golf course. They want us out of the house.

Apparently, hair cuts and color jobs are the highest priority. Here in Maryland, and also in Georgia, the Governors are relieving some business restrictions. The first thing they’re opening is, honest, barber shops and beauty parlors. Yeah, my first priority is a haircut. So I can go to a good restaurant and enjoy a nice steak and a couple of professionally made cocktails without feeling self-conscious. I guess I can get the ladies who need a coloring. But, even the Missus (who does not color) says, “Fight COVID. Show your roots!”

Have you noticed that the telemarketing calls have slacked off? I haven’t heard from Melissa at Microsoft in weeks. I assumed she was sheltering in place. But the Missus read that India has shut down what they call the “boiler rooms,” massive international call centers. Hmmm. Maybe Melissa’s name isn’t Melissa after all. She almost had me.

Ok Boomer my ass, part 3. Today’s comedians and comics would be nowhere without the goundbreaking acts of the standups we grew up with. I’m not even talking about the guys who always get the love in these discussions: Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, George Carlin. All brilliant. But Shelly Berman, Mort Sahl, Bob Newhart, Jackie Mason, Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks, Jonathan Winters, The Forbidden Comic Bill Cosby, The Forbidden Jewish Comic Woody Allen, Nichols and May, Joan Rivers. Later Steve Martin and Lily Tomlin and Andy Kaufman. Man, they carved new territory in the 60s and 70s, bringing untouched topics and new psychology and intelligent punchlines to the three-channel TV universe. There’s a show on Amazon called Cutting-Edge Comedians of the 60s and 70s. Juicy and hysterical. Try it. Oh, and Dave Chappelle is the latest immortal.

I think that’s it for now. Happy Earth Day. She is eternally resilient. So are we.