COVID Senior Lockdown, Day 30

Yes, 30 days since Gov. Hogan shut down the bars and restaurants. Seems longer, doesn’t it? Since then, the vise has tightened several notches. First, no place to go; then, stay home anyway. Now, masks are becoming mandatory. All that in a month. When they have us seatbelted into our couches with masks on our faces, gloves on our hands, feathered fedoras on our heads and chunks of dung in our ears, they’ll know they have us.

Oh, my, did the missus and I have a Boomer Thrill last night. We were watching S2E2 of The Kominsky Method on Netflix. It’s a fabulously funny show if you’re of a certain age or older. Stars Michael Douglas, who used to be young, and Alan Arkin, who somehow can’t say the same. They’re brilliant and since they’re who they are, attract great guest stars and cameos. So, first, an old flame of Arkin’s character shows up. She’s supposed to be around 80, but is beautiful, thin, classy and British. She looks familiar, but who is that actress? Later Douglas’s character is battling with his ex, a short-haired fireplug with a sailor’s vocabulary and Jimmy Durante’s voice. Who is that? Gotta be somebody. (And by the way, the venom and unveiled hatred these two people have for each other is out of this world. That was truly a marriage born in hell. I have never spoken that bluntly to my ex.) Then later, a quite fat old guy with a bald head and yet a grey ponytail shows up. Oh, God, he looks familiar! C’mon, Mrs. F - who is that??? Youknowhimyouknowhimyouknowhim!! We were going nuts in that fun, Trivial Pursuit way that you do when you know you know the answer but it’s not…quite…within……reach.

I have to say, I guessed the ponytail guy after a few minutes.

The credits finally rolled. The 80-year-old Brit lady was the lovely Jane Seymour, unseen by us in years but unchanged in many ways. We should look so hot in 15 years. We ought to have gotten that one. Damn.

Ponytail turned out to be Paul Reiser, of Diner and Mad About You and, recently, Stranger Things fame. The eyes and smile were still there, but hard to see. I swear they must have spent hours padding, balding, and dressing him. But I got that one!

The ex-wife was the real puzzle. Kathleen Turner. Yes, the sexy, smoky voiced siren of so many films in the 80s, like Body Heat, Romancing the Stone (with Douglas), and Prizzi’s Honor. The missus was amazed that she had gotten so much shorter since Jessica Rabbit. Hadn’t seen her in a while, but the voice should have been the clue. I had such a crush on that voice. Every time the missus gets bronchitis, I get turned on.

Screen stars are part of the lives we lived and their performances are frozen in celluloid amber. Sometimes they vanish from the popular stage for years. When they surface in a setting like this, in roles that were probably a happy hoot to play, it’s fun to see them having fun. They don’t need the money, they enjoy the work. They can still act, and still make us laugh, and make us feel connected to a common memory. I haven’t seen Body Heat in a long time. Maybe tonight.