COVID Senior Lockdown, Day 43

Yeah. I know, I know, I know. My faithful readers have been reminding me that I’ve been slacking. Two days, three days. What’s up, Guy? Well, A. The missus and I have been busy. And, 2. This shit’s getting boring.

However, a few notes from a weekend trip to the Eastern Sure. Yes, we broke quarantine. Us alone at home to us alone in car to us alone at other home. Arrest us.

I continue to appreciate the common-sense approach folks on The Sure are taking to the restrictions. Plus, they’re still not wearing helmets while on bicycles. Go, you Hell’s Angels! PedalPedalPedal!!!!

If you go to The Sure with any regularity, you’ve passed Tammy’s Cool Things on Route 50 between Easton and Cambridge. The little shack with the hippie VW Microbus out front. Classic. Full of tie-dyed clothes, incense burners and incense, funky coffee mugs, psychedelic posters, and other cool stuff from the era when we were young. I don’t know where else you would get this stuff these days. It’s been closed, like all non-essential (value judgement) retail establishments. But they have a sign along the road with their phone number in case you need a curbside quick fix for your macramé dreamcatcher Jones. www.coolthingsinc.com

In other news: I really love Dr. Deborah Birx. AIDS pioneer, smart woman, great on camera. She and Dr. Fauci are a formidable face to the government’s efforts. But, mostly, I like her name. Doctor Birx. What nationality is Birx? I’m not picking on her. Just being a word guy. I suppose I could look her up on Wikipedia and learn in eternal, painful detail when the awkward foreign surname was shortened and Anglicized from Birkenfranciscoskiou’ahnkJun or something to Birx. But that wouldn’t be any fun.

In the newswriting business, at least when I was in it, an “x” was suffixed to several terms to shorten the number of typing strokes (real typewriters, real ink, real paper, real maintenance, real costs) needed for routine references. Thus, Weather became Wx. Police was Pox. (Don’t read anything into that. In those days, we respected the cops.) So, Birx is interesting from an etymological POV. Plus, it sounds like a comic book villain, doesn’t it? Lex Luthor and Doctor Birx Conquer the World. And, Dr. Fauci, by the way, reminds me of a James Bond bad guy. Maybe. Or maybe a cheesy 60’s TV character played by Vito Scotti. Look him up and come back.

Waiting….

In case your wi-fi was overloaded by Netflix streamers, Vito Scotti was the only guy allowed (by union, I think) to play an Italian comic character on TV in the entire 60’s. And he turned his accent into any other accent and played Soviets (now sweetly known as Russians), Gypsies (Am I still allowed to say that?), Indians (I know I can’t say that.), Middle East guys (Maybe.), Orientals (Oh, stop it!), and pretty much everything else. He was everywhere. Every TV series and many movies. Gilligan’s Island. Bewitched. McHale’s Navy. The Godfather! (Aside: Please look up McHale’s Navy for an early Tim Conway and a comic Ernest Borgnine. Really, two brilliant people in a simple sitcom beneath their talents. Borgnine already had an Oscar, for Chrissakes. And young Conway launched from there to become a legend.) Yeah. Okay Boomer. I get it. Shut up. No, you shut up, kid.

Closing on a more serious note, have you read anything about the Contact Tracing program? They’re hiring thousands of people to follow you on your cell phone’s GPS (with overt help from Google and Apple), your credit cards, and everything else you trail behind you. They know that you were in Uber #XYZ last Thursday at 6 and when that driver (who they’re also tracking) tests positive, they’ll call you and tell you to sign up and lock down. I am not making this up. Hello, Skynet? Can I disconnect?